Reading The Oakford Social Club.

Oh Reading, how we have missed you so. It's like this place has some kind of crappy tractor beam honed in on us that won't let us stray from the heart of the town. Our first day in the country we stopped through Reading to quickly drop off some merch and meet our booking agent. Instead we ended up doing u-turn after u-turn and getting sick in roundabouts under construction. This time, we end up going down some bus only lanes and driving in reverse up hills until the clutch smells like a vacuum cleaner on fire. At the centre of town is The Oracle, and I decide that's where this tractor beam is housed. It's big and it's ostentatiously bright, so I make the guess that it's a nüchurch of newage enlightenment or a Stargate to other planets. It turns out to be a giant mall/movie screen complex. Ah, yes, the Church of Lemmings and Consumerism. How could I not guess that with a name like The Oracle?

Tonight’s club is owned by the same people that owned last night’s club, so it's done up in matching decorations, theme, and menus. There’s a slight déjà vu feeling that we're going to be stuck in the same bar until we play a sold out show.

The show was pretty fun, but hey, dude, drunk guy, stop kicking chairs into my legs to get me to move. Just tap me nicely and say I’m in your way. Or get up and watch the band, I know your legs work, I’ve seen you walk to the bar about 47 times. Or go outside and drink some English bum poison and leave me alone.

We drove a bit out of town and did another Travelodge extravaganza. Checked in, chatted up the nice lady at the front desk. But then of course James just had to stop and put his 1 pound coin over and over and over into the broken candy machine, drawing astute attention to all of us as we walked in. So when I came back in from gathering my luggage from the car, the woman was on the phone with her manager to report us for having five people in one room. And now I’m flagged in the system as someone that uses Travelodge rooms for my Coyote operation or something. I’m not going to be able to travel anywhere by the time I’m 30, at least not cheaply. Anyway, look, the place just looks evil. It must be the heated fumes of hell residing below the motel that are distorting the camera shot.